Video Game Logic #2 : Level Design

Now don't take me wrong, actual game physics are not the subject here. If you consider that games aren't not exactly set in our world, you can forgive things like most characters jumping 2 floors in height or breathing in space/underwater without any devices.

The point here today is the logic behind the level design. This was outline in this comic here, that I found hilarious due to breaking the 4th wall quite often in regards to games :

Dictatorship training 101

Ah, the funnies. This is the little problem we run into when we try to compare real life situations with video game logic. You see, a game would not be fun if it was totally impossible to complete, that's an obvious fact. But if you think back into the game, why would the head honcho give you a CHANCE of survival by putting a much useful health refill right in the boss room?

As Gnarl in the comic so nicely put, why bother putting walls that are just the right height for us to jump over? Or even bother putting a boss in a closed room, let them die alone in it! Turn one stage into a gigantic pit. Even if the character has a hover, don't give them a powerup to refill it along way (I'm talking about you Wily!)

This is the kind of comparison that leads to the funnies at least. The video game logic is there so the game is enjoyable, not for it to make sense. That doesn't mean we're not entitled to poking fun at it!

Video Game Logic #1 : Everything kills you

This was the title of an article I found a while ago, that I found very interesting. It came to me as a link from another game I downloaded, that was frankly... how can you say... unique.

The game is called "I wanna be the guy", and it's quite possibly the hardest game in the world. The article I'm talking about made mention of this game as well as several others like the Leisure Suit Larry style of games, and other older NES games. This game was made to more or less outline the ridiculousness of these games by having literally everything out to kill you.

The article had a description of this game along these lines : The moon can crash on your head, spikes on the floor will grow a set of wheels and chase you, and even the save point right before the final boss will try to eat you. This game is an over-exageration of the sadism seen in games, but honestly you should try that game because that's what makes it funny.

Back to subject at hand, this game is just one of the many examples that just about anything can kill you in games, because the game was made that way. The NES games were particularly at risk of this phenomenon, probably because of technical limitations or the fact that video games were still in their infancy. Back then games were not made to make sense, but rather to have fun.

How else can you explain a pair of plumbers lost in a land of mushrooms and turtles without the use of illegal substances? Those were already more dangerous than some other games at least, that any contact with a beach ball could burn the skin off your skeleton.

Then again, if you hop just a little back in time, you'll also have Burgertime, that literally had sausages and lettuce running after you to try to... well I'm not sure what they wanted to do with you, but anyway pepper sprays could have taken their idea from this game, as it was the cook's sole method of defense.

How about games like Back to the Future? Despite being an horrid rendition of the movie, you had bees and birds trying to dart at you, people moving an near-invisible glass window and arbitrarily placed flowerpots and park benches in the middle of the street, plus the very high quota of manholes-per-feet must be a selling point of getting a house in Hill Valley.

A last interesting example of how everything wants to kill you in video games would come from paperboy. It was a rather addictive little game overall, but did you stop to count the amount of obstacles the delivery boy has to face? Rabid dogs attack you for no other reason than you're wearing blue. Lawnmovers suddenly roar to life and try to cut your shoes off at the precise time you roll past them. Cars that apparently are driving on the wrong side of the street for the off chance that some random newspaper boy might have a death wish by cycling off the sidewalk for a second as they try to avoid a tornado that just happened to be there.

You know, when I was young I delivered newspaper, and I'm glad I wasn't in the Paperboy's neiborhood, all considered.